








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 331 matches | ||
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7316 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3666 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3700 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5297 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,436,216 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicoleto | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | bgmome | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | SnoKZ | 60% | 57 |
| #4 | light | 58% | 67 |
| #5 | MaladCSGO | 57% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Aki | 51% | 189 |
| #13 | Don Jassdecheat | 49% | 85 |
| #14 | Brax. | 49% | 41 |
| #15 | jojolooping | 47% | 169 |
| #16 | Elium945 | 46% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _soO | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Aki | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | A.D | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ♿ froZenn__ | 6 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _soO | 1321 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | Aki | 1004 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #3 | jojolooping | 749 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #4 | A.D | 437 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 396 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnoKZ | +1.54 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | volt | +1.52 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Aki | +1.48 | 54 | 76 |
| #4 | _soO | +1.42 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | MaladCSGO | +1.11 | 71 | 67 |





