








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5395 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5357 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3158 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,116 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | Hakuninhaa | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | yoru | 59% | 138 |
| #4 | Kimbo Slice | 58% | 184 |
| #5 | BRZCAS dNz- | 55% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sam | 53% | 83 |
| #9 | F0nTastic | 53% | 53 |
| #10 | gtl | 53% | 171 |
| #11 | Ramone | 52% | 29 |
| #12 | Bubble | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbo Slice | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Madruga | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Sam | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | yoru | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | BRZCAS dNz- | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRZCAS dNz- | 904 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | Kimbo Slice | 542 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | gtl | 412 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | yoru | 220 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sam | 169 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | +2.96 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | Hakuninhaa | +2.39 | 73 | 76 |
| #3 | yoru | +2.31 | 91 | 51 |
| #4 | Kimbo Slice | +1.34 | 65 | 67 |
| #5 | Bubble | +0.61 | 77 | 62 |





