








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 726 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 241 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10875 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8541 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6007 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7765 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,306,304 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | griN* [- TSG -] | 54% | 210 |
| #2 | BRZCAS dNz- | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | DJ F2P | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | Madruga | 52% | 381 |
| #5 | Ramone | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbo Slice | 40 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Bubble | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Madruga | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | griN* [- TSG -] | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | DJ F2P | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbo Slice | 1713 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #2 | Bubble | 1444 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #3 | Madruga | 683 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #4 | griN* [- TSG -] | 541 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #5 | Ramone | 332 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbo Slice | +1.40 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Bubble | +0.91 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Ramone | +0.76 | 55 | 71 |
| #4 | DJ F2P | +0.71 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | griN* [- TSG -] | +0.39 | 75 | 63 |





