








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1904 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2064 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1649 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,906 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | 68% | 68 |
| #2 | Hakuninhaa | 61% | 64 |
| #3 | PriTos | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Kimbo Slice | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | DJ F2P | 59% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | F0nTastic | 58% | 48 |
| #7 | gtl | 53% | 189 |
| #8 | BRZCAS dNz- | 53% | 230 |
| #9 | Ramone | 51% | 45 |
| #10 | VINI | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gtl | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | BRZCAS dNz- | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | VINI | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | DJ F2P | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Pdr | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRZCAS dNz- | 1002 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | DJ F2P | 468 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | gtl | 404 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hakuninhaa | 206 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ramone | 167 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoru | +2.63 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | Pdr | +2.05 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Hakuninhaa | +0.87 | 64 | 78 |
| #4 | VINI | +0.68 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Kimbo Slice | +0.09 | 56 | 67 |





