








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 824 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 190 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11025 | 27% |
| Smokes | 11361 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9344 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8579 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,904,697 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramone | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | BRZCAS dNz- | 58% | 149 |
| #3 | DJ F2P | 58% | 184 |
| #4 | gtl | 56% | 95 |
| #5 | Bubble | 53% | 364 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubble | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Madruga | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Sam | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | DJ F2P | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | griN* [- TSG -] | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubble | 1539 | 0.20 | 37 min |
| #2 | Sam | 1007 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #3 | Madruga | 806 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #4 | BRZCAS dNz- | 697 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #5 | DJ F2P | 578 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbo Slice | +1.36 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | Bubble | +0.79 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | Ramone | +0.51 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | DJ F2P | +0.15 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | griN* [- TSG -] | +0.13 | 70 | 63 |





