








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7055 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6035 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3114 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3997 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,761 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | 63% | 60 |
| #2 | Hakuninhaa | 58% | 77 |
| #3 | Kimbo Slice | 58% | 149 |
| #4 | DJ F2P | 55% | 230 |
| #5 | Bubble | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | gtl | 50% | 284 |
| #11 | Link | 43% | 40 |
| #12 | griN* [- TSG -] | 42% | 45 |
| #13 | Ramone | 42% | 67 |
| #14 | VINI | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ F2P | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Kimbo Slice | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | gtl | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | yoru | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | F0nTastic | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ F2P | 777 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | gtl | 662 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kimbo Slice | 436 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | yoru | 380 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ramone | 269 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoru | +2.68 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | Pdr | +1.73 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | Hakuninhaa | +1.70 | 67 | 78 |
| #4 | Kimbo Slice | +1.10 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | VINI | +0.73 | 70 | 59 |





