








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 441 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2418 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2550 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2701 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,381 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hank the Tank | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | raid | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | 214 | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | boomer bob | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | skl_tv | 52% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | dieLand | 49% | 154 |
| #10 | Logimli | 48% | 27 |
| #11 | YAKUB | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | detrho | 43% | 93 |
| #13 | Pheeeelop | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farter | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | dieLand | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Hank the Tank | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | raid | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farter | 1478 | 0.37 | 34 min |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | 661 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | detrho | 246 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | 214 | 203 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | dieLand | 190 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noxin | +1.45 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | +0.99 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | dieLand | +0.50 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | Farter | -0.24 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | skl_tv | -0.43 | 77 | 53 |





