








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 555 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5327 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7204 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4163 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3397 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,639,090 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guru | 62% | 55 |
| #2 | Sid | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | wdR | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | boomer bob | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | dieLand | 52% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | detrho | 47% | 193 |
| #13 | 214 | 47% | 60 |
| #14 | Pheeeelop | 44% | 54 |
| #15 | thowus | 44% | 52 |
| #16 | RexCakex | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farter | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | dieLand | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | noxin | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Pheeeelop | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | detrho | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farter | 1928 | 0.35 | 44 min |
| #2 | noxin | 507 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | detrho | 484 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | dieLand | 386 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | thowus | 363 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugg Speedman | +1.52 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | noxin | +1.17 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | skl_tv | +0.63 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | dieLand | +0.62 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | Guru | +0.15 | 83 | 59 |





