








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 685 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7394 | 24% |
| Smokes | 11221 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5391 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7450 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,529,242 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 678 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dieLand | 56% | 62 |
| #2 | noxin | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | Farter | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 49% | 95 |
| #5 | wdR | 47% | 375 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wdR | 47% | 375 |
| #6 | 214 | 47% | 123 |
| #7 | RexCakex | 47% | 201 |
| #8 | Hank the Tank | 46% | 158 |
| #9 | Sh0rtFatKid | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hank the Tank | 17 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | wdR | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 214 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Farter | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 214 | 779 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | Hank the Tank | 724 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | Farter | 667 | 0.35 | 15 min |
| #4 | wdR | 412 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #5 | RexCakex | 321 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noxin | +2.09 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | dieLand | +1.88 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | Tugg Speedman | +1.80 | 87 | 54 |
| #4 | wdR | +0.79 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | Farter | +0.38 | 59 | 61 |





