








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Wingman | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2167 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3319 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2375 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1463 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,869,003 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egirl | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Pheeeelop | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | Tugg Speedman | 52% | 215 |
| #4 | Farter | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | YAKUB | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | detrho | 49% | 156 |
| #10 | thowus | 49% | 146 |
| #11 | Guru | 44% | 41 |
| #12 | raid | 43% | 30 |
| #13 | boomer bob | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thowus | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | dieLand | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | detrho | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Farter | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thowus | 744 | 0.26 | 24 min |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | 495 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | detrho | 466 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Farter | 395 | 0.38 | 10 min |
| #5 | YAKUB | 216 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egirl | +2.04 | 59 | 71 |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | +1.28 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | noxin | +1.18 | 76 | 53 |
| #4 | skl_tv | +0.88 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | dieLand | +0.49 | 80 | 54 |





