








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2213 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4205 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1967 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2625 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,545 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sid | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Sh0rtFatKid | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | raid | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | detrho | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | 214 | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | wdR | 52% | 33 |
| #9 | noxin | 49% | 154 |
| #10 | Farter | 49% | 120 |
| #11 | skl_tv | 49% | 102 |
| #12 | Hank the Tank | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugg Speedman | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Farter | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | noxin | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | raid | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | YAKUB | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farter | 836 | 0.33 | 19 min |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | 789 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | noxin | 299 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | detrho | 247 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | 214 | 208 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugg Speedman | +0.96 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | dieLand | +0.86 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | noxin | +0.74 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | skl_tv | +0.38 | 81 | 49 |
| #5 | Farter | +0.08 | 61 | 59 |





