










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1234 | 28% |
| Smokes | 956 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1015 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,070,750 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 高潮老爸 | 52% | 69 |
| #6 | holy | 51% | 53 |
| #7 | browngrl | 50% | 103 |
| #8 | frankie | 47% | 179 |
| #9 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frankie | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | browngrl | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | firemonarch | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Nakano | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frankie | 442 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 324 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | firemonarch | 296 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | browngrl | 223 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Nakano | 109 | 0.17 | 3 min |





