








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 621 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3462 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3388 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2266 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3773 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,586,210 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakano | 59% | 75 |
| #2 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 57% | 116 |
| #3 | beckie | 56% | 96 |
| #4 | 高潮老爸 | 53% | 155 |
| #5 | holy | 52% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Wolf | 50% | 28 |
| #9 | n♿s- | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | <<penis_kid>> [1990] | 45% | 40 |
| #11 | IG: @ninjoi_ | 35% | 26 |
| #12 | Dichol | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frankie | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Wolf | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | browngrl | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 高潮老爸 | 653 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | browngrl | 469 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | frankie | 433 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 294 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | beckie | 247 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | +3.85 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | n♿s- | +2.79 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | frankie | +2.08 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | Nakano | +1.17 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | +0.36 | 69 | 51 |





