








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5240 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3924 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3566 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4791 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,233,228 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Alchemist | 68% | 82 |
| #2 | browngrl | 59% | 149 |
| #3 | frankie | 56% | 126 |
| #4 | firemonarch | 53% | 155 |
| #5 | beckie | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | firemonarch | 53% | 155 |
| #5 | beckie | 52% | 69 |
| #6 | holy | 52% | 27 |
| #7 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 48% | 159 |
| #8 | Wolf | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Wolf | 6 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | frankie | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | browngrl | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | 401 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | browngrl | 373 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | frankie | 346 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 310 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mr. Alchemist | 270 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Alchemist | +4.65 | 65 | 68 |
| #2 | firemonarch | +2.96 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | frankie | +1.72 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | 高潮老爸 | -0.09 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | Wolf | -0.27 | 61 | 41 |





