








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3184 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4626 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3583 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3144 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,061,595 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 763 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakano | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 56% | 126 |
| #3 | Mr. Alchemist | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | firemonarch | 52% | 196 |
| #5 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 51% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | firemonarch | 52% | 196 |
| #5 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 51% | 75 |
| #6 | holy | 49% | 86 |
| #7 | beckie | 47% | 179 |
| #8 | browngrl | 46% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | browngrl | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | holy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Nakano | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | 620 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 574 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | beckie | 417 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | browngrl | 415 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 185 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | +3.75 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | Mr. Alchemist | +3.08 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | frankie | +1.75 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | Nakano | +0.94 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | +0.28 | 68 | 52 |





