








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2252 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2710 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1729 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1937 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,743,893 of utility $311 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | 57% | 116 |
| #2 | Nakano | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | frankie | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | n♿s- | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | browngrl | 50% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | 高潮老爸 | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | frankie | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | browngrl | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | n♿s- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 高潮老爸 | 647 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | firemonarch | 317 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | browngrl | 308 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | n♿s- | 167 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | frankie | 162 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | firemonarch | +3.56 | 62 | 68 |
| #2 | Nakano | +2.54 | 49 | 61 |
| #3 | frankie | +1.03 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | +1.01 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | n♿s- | +0.59 | 68 | 61 |





