








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3064 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 831 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 71,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20969 | 29% |
| Smokes | 19244 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 16581 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 15134 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,662,064 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoinkyy | 84% | 103 |
| #2 | LummyTum | 83% | 304 |
| #3 | '死☞Daxtar'☜ | 78% | 111 |
| #4 | Bunnyy | 76% | 95 |
| #5 | Return of Randy Bobandy | 74% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoinkyy | 84% | 103 |
| #2 | LummyTum | 83% | 304 |
| #3 | '死☞Daxtar'☜ | 78% | 111 |
| #4 | Bunnyy | 76% | 95 |
| #5 | Return of Randy Bobandy | 74% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LummyTum | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Bunnyy | 13 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Return of Randy Bobandy | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Yoinkyy | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | '死☞Daxtar'☜ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LummyTum | 1116 | 0.20 | 34 min |
| #2 | Return of Randy Bobandy | 506 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Yoinkyy | 314 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | '死☞Daxtar'☜ | 186 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bunnyy | 161 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LummyTum | +4.20 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | d0pefresh | +2.61 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | '死☞Daxtar'☜ | +2.15 | 92 | 70 |
| #4 | Yoinkyy | +1.68 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Return of Randy Bobandy | +0.18 | 76 | 69 |





