








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3158 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4216 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3790 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3650 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,703,812 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2614 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmwkey | 81% | 32 |
| #2 | LummyTum | 80% | 107 |
| #3 | Return of Randy Bobandy | 79% | 73 |
| #4 | Diabetesbruh | 78% | 36 |
| #5 | d0pefresh | 76% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LummyTum | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Phil | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | korean hannibal | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | d0pefresh | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Return of Randy Bobandy | 6 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | korean hannibal | 685 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #2 | LummyTum | 403 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | d0pefresh | 327 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | therealbri | 282 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | walter | 241 | 0.22 | 8 min |





