








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4926 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7646 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3448 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4449 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,407,345 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TutTuRu(*T△T)/ | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | 9999 | 55% | 76 |
| #3 | redhoodvn | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | tira | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | c4mlog | 53% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Ouroboros | 41% | 92 |
| #16 | hung3a8 | 41% | 91 |
| #17 | AligaCat | 40% | 63 |
| #18 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 35% | 66 |
| #19 | empurple | 29% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rm | 34 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | 123123 | 31 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | c4mlog | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Katyu! | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | empurple | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamburger .。. | 893 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #2 | st0rm | 800 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | empurple | 769 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | redhoodvn | 441 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | Ouroboros | 398 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noel | +5.11 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | +1.60 | 57 | 60 |
| #3 | c4mlog | +1.46 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | Katyu! | +0.60 | 70 | 41 |
| #5 | st0rm | +0.17 | 71 | 50 |





