








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1290 | 37% |
| Smokes | 774 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 676 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,811 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hung3a8 | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | 123123 | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Chunchunmaru ФωФ | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Pate | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noel | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | c4mlog | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Katyu! | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Ouroboros | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | st0rm | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noel | 270 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ouroboros | 156 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | empurple | 147 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | redhoodvn | 134 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | hung3a8 | 68 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noel | +5.11 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | +1.64 | 55 | 64 |
| #3 | c4mlog | +1.48 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | Xeno | +0.97 | 39 | 44 |
| #5 | st0rm | +0.36 | 73 | 47 |





