








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3348 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3090 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2990 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,428 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 老六小趴菜 | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | redhoodvn | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | Ouroboros | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | c4mlog | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | Katyu! | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rm | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | 123123 | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Noel | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Hamburger .。. | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Katyu! | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamburger .。. | 504 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | st0rm | 428 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | redhoodvn | 333 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | Noel | 308 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ouroboros | 244 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noel | +4.88 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | +2.16 | 44 | 60 |
| #3 | c4mlog | +1.56 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | st0rm | +0.67 | 74 | 48 |
| #5 | Katyu! | +0.37 | 63 | 39 |





