










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 95 | 26% |
| Smokes | 27 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 159 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,558 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | feelingkindasilly | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | nicolasnicnik | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | Bobbyyy | 46% | 28 |
| #11 | Peugeot | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | NinjaFisken | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feelingkindasilly | 12 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Bobbyyy | 9 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | nicolasnicnik | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | NinjaFisken | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Cocio | 2 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nicolasnicnik | 140 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bobbyyy | 102 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | feelingkindasilly | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr.Doge | 44 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #5 | NinjaFisken | 31 | 0.15 | 0 min |





