








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




124 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3163 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1993 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2633 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,728,539 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | porky | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | bich ah ni | 56% | 290 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | 53% | 220 |
| #4 | Nigeria | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | xsaltify | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bich ah ni | 56% | 290 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | 53% | 220 |
| #4 | Nigeria | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | xsaltify | 47% | 109 |
| #6 | EXPERT DEALER | 30% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 82 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | EXPERT DEALER | 58 | 0.0238 |
| #3 | Nigeria | 36 | 0.0258 |
| #4 | Whiplash64 | 34 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | xsaltify | 16 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 977 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 262 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | porky | 159 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 63 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | xsaltify | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | porky | +7.67 | 80 | 51 |
| #2 | bich ah ni | +5.48 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | Nigeria | +1.81 | 37 | 27 |
| #4 | Wires | -0.30 | 55 | 32 |
| #5 | Whiplash64 | -1.09 | 28 | 29 |





