








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 546 | 28% |
| Smokes | 508 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 497 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 384 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,659 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slug | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Wires | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | xsaltify | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slug | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Wires | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | xsaltify | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | EXPERT DEALER | 3 | 0.0275 |
| #3 | slug | 2 | 0.0256 |
| #4 | Whiplash64 | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 121 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | xsaltify | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | porky | +8.04 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | slug | +2.26 | 74 | 16 |
| #3 | Wires | -0.79 | 62 | 40 |
| #4 | xsaltify | -1.92 | 62 | 11 |
| #5 | Whiplash64 | -4.12 | 31 | 18 |





