








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1004 | 37% |
| Smokes | 556 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 739 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,637 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 56% | 79 |
| #2 | Nigeria | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | xsaltify | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | Wires | 53% | 220 |
| #5 | EXPERT DEALER | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 56% | 79 |
| #2 | Nigeria | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | xsaltify | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | Wires | 53% | 220 |
| #5 | EXPERT DEALER | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 35 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | Wires | 34 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | EXPERT DEALER | 31 | 0.0195 |
| #4 | Nigeria | 29 | 0.0237 |
| #5 | xsaltify | 9 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 341 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wires | 330 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | xsaltify | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nigeria | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | +6.66 | 63 | 48 |
| #2 | Nigeria | +1.71 | 37 | 26 |
| #3 | Wires | +0.41 | 51 | 31 |
| #4 | xsaltify | -0.76 | 47 | 25 |
| #5 | Whiplash64 | -1.19 | 32 | 28 |





