








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 201 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 652 | 34% |
| Smokes | 298 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 594 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 372 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,746 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigeria | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | bich ah ni | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Wires | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | EXPERT DEALER | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigeria | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | bich ah ni | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | Wires | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | EXPERT DEALER | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | bich ah ni | 16 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Nigeria | 14 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | Whiplash64 | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | EXPERT DEALER | 12 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | 230 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Wires | 164 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nigeria | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | +5.34 | 58 | 52 |
| #2 | Nigeria | +1.49 | 37 | 28 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | -0.06 | 36 | 31 |
| #4 | xsaltify | -0.42 | 49 | 21 |
| #5 | Wires | -0.51 | 48 | 31 |





