








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 256 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




174 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6236 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5000 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5070 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4277 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,091 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 56% | 290 |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 56% | 79 |
| #3 | xsaltify | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 41% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 56% | 290 |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 56% | 79 |
| #3 | xsaltify | 52% | 50 |
| #4 | EXPERT DEALER | 41% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 58 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | EXPERT DEALER | 28 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | 18 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | xsaltify | 8 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wires | 481 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Whiplash64 | 92 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | EXPERT DEALER | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | xsaltify | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bich ah ni | +3.18 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | Wires | -1.98 | 48 | 26 |
| #3 | Whiplash64 | -2.42 | 20 | 23 |
| #4 | xsaltify | -2.47 | 43 | 23 |
| #5 | EXPERT DEALER | -3.65 | 15 | 19 |





