








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11228 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8305 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6895 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4633 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,623,634 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Finanzamt | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | marzltov | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | baeisi | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | sleviN | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baeisi | 902 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | Das Finanzamt | 709 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | marzltov | 188 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | sleviN | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordKami | +0.84 | 46 | 72 |
| #2 | Void.sINCH.koBe | +0.64 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Das Finanzamt | +0.54 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | baeisi | +0.35 | 51 | 69 |
| #5 | marzltov | +0.22 | 65 | 33 |





