








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16441 | 32% |
| Smokes | 13519 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8548 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 12474 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,446,648 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pexxi | 53% | 250 |
| #2 | bast1 | 52% | 134 |
| #3 | FiRe_W4ll | 52% | 108 |
| #4 | local.horst | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | gl0w | 52% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marzltov | 31 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | pexxi | 21 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | baeisi | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | naki`´ | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 12 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordKami | 1107 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | baeisi | 980 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #3 | marzltov | 534 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | FiRe_W4ll | 457 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 424 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | local.horst | +5.07 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | FiRe_W4ll | +4.67 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | sn1cee | +2.30 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | bast1 | +2.03 | 90 | 58 |
| #5 | pexxi | +2.02 | 84 | 49 |





