








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 954 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14331 | 35% |
| Smokes | 10340 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7437 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 9104 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,390 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordKami | 50% | 214 |
| #2 | Das Finanzamt | 48% | 211 |
| #3 | gl0w | 48% | 114 |
| #4 | Technikopfer | 47% | 139 |
| #5 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 46% | 56 |





