








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1367 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2108 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3489 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1654 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,866 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @Lenanas | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | local.horst | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | gl0w | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | [GsA]Blackbird | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | naki`´ | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baeisi | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | marzltov | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | local.horst | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | LordKami | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Das Finanzamt | 2 | 0.0009 |





