








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1039 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 184 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




92 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5230 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 4343 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,306,400 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 45% | 109 |
| #12 | sleviN | 44% | 68 |
| #13 | baeisi | 42% | 189 |
| #14 | Joshua | 41% | 68 |
| #15 | FluffyLaSun | 39% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Finanzamt | 24 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | baeisi | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Void.sINCH.koBe | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Joshua | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | @Lenanas | 6 | 0.0021 |





