








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 728 | 24% |
| Smokes | 856 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 825 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 588 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,295 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yarak Obama | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Mr. Harvester | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | pilze | 52% | 83 |
| #4 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | igoR | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pilze | 38 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 28 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Mr. Harvester | 24 | 0.0200 |
| #4 | igoR | 17 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 12 | 0.0186 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 171 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | pilze | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | igoR | 93 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yarak Obama | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | igoR | +2.16 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | pilze | +2.13 | 73 | 46 |
| #3 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | +1.55 | 85 | 48 |
| #4 | Yarak Obama | +1.48 | 47 | 66 |
| #5 | DOUBLE G | +0.88 | 63 | 44 |





