








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2238 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4252 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3891 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2537 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,841,887 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | DOUBLE G | 49% | 86 |
| #3 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 48% | 319 |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | Yarak Obama | 46% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 48% | 319 |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | Yarak Obama | 46% | 98 |
| #6 | pilze | 46% | 118 |
| #7 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOUBLE G | 46 | 0.0269 |
| #2 | pilze | 44 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Mr. Harvester | 25 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 17 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 451 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yarak Obama | 257 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | pilze | 233 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 195 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | MK | 183 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pilze | +1.28 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | DOUBLE G | +0.95 | 64 | 45 |
| #3 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | +0.88 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | MK | +0.83 | 60 | 78 |
| #5 | igoR | +0.40 | 72 | 57 |





