








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2495 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1258 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,908 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Snexx | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | igoR | 48% | 319 |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | pilze | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | pilze | 43% | 58 |
| #6 | Yarak Obama | 43% | 35 |
| #7 | DOUBLE G | 41% | 34 |
| #8 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | igoR | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | pilze | 17 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | DOUBLE G | 17 | 0.0264 |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 8 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | igoR | 255 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | MK | 168 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | pilze | 113 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snexx | 95 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snexx | +2.58 | 69 | 85 |
| #2 | MK | +1.61 | 62 | 78 |
| #3 | pilze | +1.27 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | +1.14 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | DOUBLE G | +0.54 | 65 | 34 |





