








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1856 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2003 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1857 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,585 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOUBLE G | 52% | 83 |
| #2 | Mr. Harvester | 48% | 159 |
| #3 | igoR | 46% | 118 |
| #4 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 46% | 199 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOUBLE G | 52% | 83 |
| #2 | Mr. Harvester | 48% | 159 |
| #3 | igoR | 46% | 118 |
| #4 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 46% | 199 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOUBLE G | 52 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 49 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Mr. Harvester | 45 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | igoR | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 10 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arschkrebs Andreas | 452 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | DOUBLE G | 134 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mr. Harvester | 120 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | igoR | 98 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | +2.66 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | pilze | +1.68 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | DOUBLE G | +1.33 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | igoR | +1.06 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Mr. Harvester | -0.56 | 66 | 39 |





