








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2433 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1269 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 861 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,091 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOUBLE G | 49% | 73 |
| #2 | pilze | 46% | 199 |
| #3 | igoR | 44% | 96 |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 41% | 116 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOUBLE G | 49% | 73 |
| #2 | pilze | 46% | 199 |
| #3 | igoR | 44% | 96 |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 41% | 116 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pilze | 75 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | DOUBLE G | 50 | 0.0339 |
| #3 | Mr. Harvester | 38 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | igoR | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 6 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pilze | 352 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | DOUBLE G | 127 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | igoR | 88 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mr. Harvester | 83 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cvnstI (◑‿◐) on 240hz | +3.37 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | pilze | +1.47 | 77 | 51 |
| #3 | DOUBLE G | +1.34 | 63 | 47 |
| #4 | igoR | +1.08 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | Mr. Harvester | -0.43 | 66 | 38 |





