








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 58 | 19% |
| Smokes | 119 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 69 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,398 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stayedsnake509 | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | KC Crusader | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | 16bitfrost | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Big Boss | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nox | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | 31% | 13 |
| #9 | Steps | 0% | 3 |
| #10 | Fenless | 0% | 3 |
| #11 | Dr.Brick243 | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Big Boss | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | KC Crusader | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Big Boss | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | KC Crusader | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | 16bitfrost | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | +5.07 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | +4.25 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | Steps | +3.23 | 76 | 44 |
| #4 | datpooo | +2.73 | 55 | 45 |
| #5 | KC Crusader | +0.66 | 32 | 39 |





