








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 26% |
| Smokes | 907 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 198 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,290 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nox | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Gods 1st Drunkest Driver | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | 16bitfrost | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | Armor | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | KC Crusader | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KC Crusader | 48% | 82 |
| #6 | Chupachu | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | datpooo | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | Stayedsnake509 | 40% | 62 |
| #9 | Big Boss | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC Crusader | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Big Boss | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | datpooo | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Nox | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Armor | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Boss | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | KC Crusader | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | 16bitfrost | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | datpooo | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chupachu | 25 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | +4.04 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | Chupachu | +3.70 | 50 | 33 |
| #3 | datpooo | +2.36 | 49 | 43 |
| #4 | KC Crusader | -0.09 | 42 | 37 |
| #5 | Gods 1st Drunkest Driver | -0.42 | 24 | 32 |





