








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 273 | 12% |
| Smokes | 885 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 681 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,410 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | 16bitfrost | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Nox | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | KC Crusader | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | Gods 1st Drunkest Driver | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Armor | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 40% | 70 |
| #9 | datpooo | 35% | 26 |
| #10 | Stayedsnake509 | 35% | 26 |
| #11 | Dr.Brick243 | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC Crusader | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | datpooo | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Armor | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Gods 1st Drunkest Driver | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 60 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | datpooo | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | KC Crusader | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chupachu | 28 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Armor | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chupachu | +5.54 | 40 | 31 |
| #2 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | +4.81 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | +4.48 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | datpooo | +3.31 | 51 | 42 |
| #5 | Nox | +1.75 | 47 | 20 |





