








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 441 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 314 matches | ||
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4031 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4573 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3295 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3717 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,277,514 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROWDY.CS | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | scary- | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | sloppy bill on the pill | 63% | 52 |
| #4 | Viz | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | LittleJohnny | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Pancake | 47% | 36 |
| #18 | CraMdeN | 47% | 43 |
| #19 | NextGenMason | 43% | 44 |
| #20 | goblins are real | 40% | 52 |
| #21 | Moopz | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xie | 19 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | virx1 | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | NextGenMason | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | RGood | 9 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | PlzMoar | 8 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlzMoar | 1023 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #2 | virx1 | 560 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | deckle- | 470 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | RichMoney | 386 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | holycow | 337 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | +2.36 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | Ericcc | +1.37 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | deckle- | +1.23 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | ROWDY.CS | +1.13 | 42 | 51 |
| #5 | RGood | +1.04 | 68 | 67 |





