








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1355 | 36% |
| Smokes | 734 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 896 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 779 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,105 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | β’Tinu' Augustinu'β€ | 71% | 35 |
| #7 | Vendetta | 69% | 16 |
| #8 | iSeby2002 | 62% | 60 |
| #9 | MoldovaN- | 62% | 78 |
| #10 | xStelian02 | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iSeby2002 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | MoldovaN- | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | βͺ I Love μ½μ¬ν¬.docx | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | β’Tinu' Augustinu'β€ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | π―πΌππ»ππ. | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iSeby2002 | 265 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | MoldovaN- | 208 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | β’Tinu' Augustinu'β€ | 157 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | βͺ Just a Potato | 142 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | xStelian02 | 112 | 0.31 | 3 min |





