








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3872 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3914 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2532 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3612 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,271,451 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J | 59% | 133 |
| #2 | dxna x( | 56% | 106 |
| #3 | John | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | Beast Mode | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | apinalokki | 52% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Varg Vikernes | 52% | 246 |
| #8 | MustaJesse | 49% | 194 |
| #9 | Vert1cal | 46% | 106 |
| #10 | tale | 46% | 50 |
| #11 | Joke.2.0 | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | apinalokki | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | J | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | MustaJesse | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | dxna x( | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 1019 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | MustaJesse | 512 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | apinalokki | 361 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Vert1cal | 262 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | J | 231 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | +2.01 | 50 | 74 |
| #2 | Jeip | +1.43 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Joke.2.0 | +1.20 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | Varg Vikernes | +0.62 | 54 | 81 |
| #5 | tale | +0.28 | 62 | 64 |





