








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2626 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3373 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3424 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3263 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,061 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apinalokki | 64% | 81 |
| #2 | MustaJesse | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | Jeip | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | Varg Vikernes | 55% | 244 |
| #5 | kosmo | 54% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jeip | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | Varg Vikernes | 55% | 244 |
| #5 | kosmo | 54% | 180 |
| #6 | John | 53% | 180 |
| #7 | dxna x( | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | John | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | kosmo | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MustaJesse | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Jeip | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 1137 | 0.22 | 34 min |
| #2 | Jeip | 364 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | John | 256 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | kosmo | 206 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | apinalokki | 151 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | +1.92 | 42 | 72 |
| #2 | Jeip | +1.63 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Varg Vikernes | +1.12 | 54 | 82 |
| #4 | J | +0.39 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | apinalokki | -0.01 | 55 | 81 |





