








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 706 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 264 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6039 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6375 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5997 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4845 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,382 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kosmo | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | J | 64% | 81 |
| #3 | tale | 60% | 62 |
| #4 | Beast Mode | 59% | 82 |
| #5 | John | 58% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | dxna x( | 56% | 142 |
| #8 | Varg Vikernes | 54% | 198 |
| #9 | Vert1cal | 54% | 123 |
| #10 | Jeip | 52% | 172 |
| #11 | Joke.2.0 | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | dxna x( | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | John | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MustaJesse | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Jeip | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 871 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | MustaJesse | 606 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jeip | 415 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Vert1cal | 338 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | dxna x( | 258 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | +2.18 | 49 | 72 |
| #2 | Jeip | +1.33 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Joke.2.0 | +1.10 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Varg Vikernes | +0.46 | 55 | 81 |
| #5 | tale | +0.20 | 64 | 65 |





