








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 226 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4353 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4616 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4092 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4315 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,332,882 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 758 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vert1cal | 65% | 69 |
| #2 | Beast Mode | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | MustaJesse | 63% | 158 |
| #4 | Joke.2.0 | 61% | 87 |
| #5 | tale | 59% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Joke.2.0 | 61% | 87 |
| #5 | tale | 59% | 71 |
| #6 | Jeip | 56% | 106 |
| #7 | apinalokki | 56% | 142 |
| #8 | Varg Vikernes | 55% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | apinalokki | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Joke.2.0 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | tale | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MustaJesse | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 445 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | MustaJesse | 405 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | apinalokki | 286 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Joke.2.0 | 264 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jeip | 258 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | +1.85 | 52 | 71 |
| #2 | Joke.2.0 | +1.50 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Jeip | +1.15 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | tale | +0.32 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | Varg Vikernes | -0.52 | 49 | 79 |





