








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3205 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3109 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3628 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2990 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,562 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | 63% | 158 |
| #2 | J | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | apinalokki | 57% | 208 |
| #4 | Joke.2.0 | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Vert1cal | 55% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Petrifi3R | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | Varg Vikernes | 54% | 170 |
| #8 | Beast Mode | 52% | 113 |
| #9 | tale | 51% | 83 |
| #10 | Jeip | 49% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apinalokki | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Joke.2.0 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Varg Vikernes | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Beast Mode | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | tale | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varg Vikernes | 653 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Jeip | 469 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | apinalokki | 434 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Vert1cal | 344 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | dxna x( | 303 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | +2.39 | 49 | 73 |
| #2 | Joke.2.0 | +1.73 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Jeip | +1.43 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | J | +0.65 | 49 | 66 |
| #5 | tale | +0.62 | 61 | 62 |





