








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Faceit | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 172 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11315 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8445 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7160 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6125 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,131 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 706 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | 55% | 109 |
| #2 | J | 55% | 244 |
| #3 | kosmo | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | apinalokki | 54% | 198 |
| #5 | tale | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MustaJesse | 54% | 170 |
| #8 | Vert1cal | 53% | 86 |
| #9 | John | 53% | 162 |
| #10 | Jeip | 52% | 246 |
| #11 | Joke.2.0 | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Jeip | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | MustaJesse | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | John | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | dxna x( | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeip | 627 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | J | 539 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | MustaJesse | 430 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | apinalokki | 377 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | John | 245 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joke.2.0 | +2.41 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | dxna x( | +2.17 | 50 | 75 |
| #3 | Jeip | +1.33 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | tale | +1.04 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | Varg Vikernes | +0.28 | 54 | 80 |





