








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1046 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 780 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 818 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,821 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hheeyyyy | 44% | 50 |
| #5 | treeboy | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 38% | 29 |
| #7 | KuzcosPoison | 37% | 43 |
| #8 | ARAB THANOS | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | KuzcosPoison | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | hheeyyyy | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | dyran | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogy | 208 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | dyran | 126 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | treeboy | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | KuzcosPoison | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | hheeyyyy | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyran | +3.18 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | A Good Ol Nut | +1.51 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | ARAB THANOS | +1.04 | 55 | 65 |
| #4 | Dogy | +0.48 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | treeboy | -0.25 | 50 | 67 |





