








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 635 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4212 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5909 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6623 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4732 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,694,235 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Fitzwell | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Hugh Jerection | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | hheeyyyy | 50% | 242 |
| #4 | dyran | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 47% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hugh Jerection | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | hheeyyyy | 50% | 242 |
| #4 | dyran | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 47% | 178 |
| #6 | Dogy | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Richard Fitzwell | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | hheeyyyy | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Hugh Jerection | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | dyran | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyran | 382 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hugh Jerection | 261 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 194 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dogy | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | hheeyyyy | 167 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Fitzwell | +4.84 | 66 | 78 |
| #2 | dyran | +3.32 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | Hugh Jerection | +3.11 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | Dogy | -0.50 | 61 | 49 |
| #5 | treeboy | -0.66 | 56 | 57 |





